Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Pony Feeling
The Pony Feeling
(in which two poets unravel the culturally accepted "fact" that every little girl wants a pony).
One: I didn't want a pony so much as I wanted
to be a pony. A need to be wild, or secretly wanting
to have someone claim me, tame me. Name me.
Two: I think what I wanted--want--was more
the pony feeling: a pony always knows exactly what
and how and why to be. A pony isn't self-conscious.
It just is.
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Has anyone, ever, ever throughout all of time rhymed self-conscious with it just is? And it isn't just rhyme that links them, but consciousness itself: being. Is. Dude.
ReplyDeleteSo, isn't that what this whole thing is about then? How, these two actually very different definitions are about the same desire - to be, to feel (the poets' conversation!)!?! To, simply, exist simply?
And that's the adult perspective reminiscing on a past desire. You've also captured the essence of the child, as well, who has no words for this, only the desire: the secret wanting, to be owned/loved, to know who you belong to, to know something outside of the painfulness and insecurity of being a child (girls are ALWAYS self-conscious - why wouldn't this peaceful animal - oh his eternally soft eye! - be our secret desire?).
I love the secret things that make my head explode:
one:two:it just is.
I wanted/secretly wanting/name me.
YOUR DEADLY LINE: to have someone claim me, tame me. Name me. (oh sure, break it up with a period in the middle. Just kill me now!)
IT'S MIRROR LINE: knows exactly what/and how and why to be.
Also, the conscious/just is rhyme, but also, It just is sounds like justice - is there any greater one than a free little girl? And is it not the rarest of all justices?
It's all working seamlessly together to make me have That Feeling.
Poetry win.